Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
