someone get that fucking seahorse.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
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Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
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There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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