marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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