It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
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the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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