You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
