I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
