Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
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