The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I am spending my child support on dildos
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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