I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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