how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
