I swear she didn't look like that last week.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
