Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
