did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
