Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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