adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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