Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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