I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
