it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
