do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
