I swear she didn't look like that last week.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
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Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
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I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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