An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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