I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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