he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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