So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize