I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
