Having a random hookup so left but love u
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
