is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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