Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
