I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
