I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
