I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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