he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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