Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
