I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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