Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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