Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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