Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
