I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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