Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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