Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
