Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
