I got chris browned last night
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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