Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
