Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
