if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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