Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
