Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
