hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
