no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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