Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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