Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
