What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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