did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize