The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
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