I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.