I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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