just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
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i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
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You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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