Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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