Your face is a jimmy john
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize