I want to walk on stilts...naked
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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