he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Someone shattered a urinal.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
